Let's Try This Again

Last night I was at a bar association Young Lawyers event when a friend & colleague told me that he recently shared my blog with a friend and then realized that I hadn't posted anything here in well over a year (he also told me that as he transitions from Judicial Clerk to private practice in the coming weeks, he plans to use what he learned on my blog to mess with young female attorneys, so that's good).  His comment got me thinking about this old page and how fun it is to share stories and recipes every once in a while, so I think I'll give it another go.  I can't promise how long it will last (heck, this might be the only new post for another year), but I can certainly give it a try.  

So, what's new in my life?  Turns out, quite a bit.  In the time since my last post, I performed in the Bar Show, ended a relationship, started a relationship, got engaged, planned a wedding, attended my 10-year high school reunion, found a lump on my neck, had two surgeries, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had some treatment, bought a new car, baked my own cupcakes for my wedding (with the help of my lovely mother!!!), got married, went to Ireland (where, among other things, a bird pooped on me...more about that later), changed my name, put an offer on a house, cancelled the contract on the house, attended a week long trial skills workshop, beat cancer, had my 4 year anniversary at the Firm, won a couple of cases on summary judgment, started the Jillian Michaels' Body Revolution, and generally did a lot of stuff.

In this first after-crazy-hiatus post, I'll fill you in on what I know you're most interested in:  baking my own wedding cupcakes!

Just kidding! Cancer it is! 

Ok, so last fall I was at work, minding my own business, when I went to the restroom and, while washing my hands, looked in the mirror and noticed that there appeared to be a lump on the side of my neck.  Not like a growth, but like my glands were really swollen and not in the place where your glands swell.  So, I did what any sane person would do and snapped a picture of my weird neck bump and texted it to Trent (the now hubby).  

See the left side of this picture and how it looks swollen and weird

Immediately after texting the picture, I went to my trusty friend Google and googled "weird lump on my neck."  I did some reading, hit up WebMd and had this conversation with myself:  "You have cancer."  "No, don't be a hypochondriac, this isn't cancer."  "No, this is totally cancer.  Call the Dr."  "I will call the Dr., but it's not cancer."  And then I called the Dr. 

Apparently when you call the Dr. and say, "I found a weird lump on [insert random body part here]" they can get you in rather quickly.  I went to see my general practitioner the next day and he assured me that it while my lump was in an area close to my thyroid, it probably wasn't cancer...but just in case we should probably do an ultrasound.  I had an ultrasound the day after that and learned why ultrasound technicians are not actually supposed to tell you what they see.  My technician talked the whole time and it went something like this, "Oh no...this is definitely in your thyroid...yeah...this isn't good...you know sometimes these things are benign...but this is probably cancer...I've never seen a lump in the thyroid gland this big!"  And thank you for that.

And then I was referred to a surgeon.  I have the knack for always choosing teaching hospitals/clinics/doctors, so of course my surgeon had two or three different students in his office.  I go in, surgeon feels my neck and pushes on my lump and then invites all of the students to take turns feeling my neck and pushing on my lump.  It was a good time.  

I had the option of an in-office needle biopsy that would likely come back negative even if there were cancer cells in there, or I could opt to have my lump surgically removed and biopsied at the time of the surgery.  Even if it wasn't cancerous, I wasn't planning to live the rest of my life with a neck lump, so I opted for surgery.

I had my surgery on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  The plan was to go in and remove the right lobe of my thyroid and do some tests to see if it was cancerous right there in the room.  The options from there were cancer = removal of the full thyroid, no cancer = close me up and send me home hoping I'm one of those people who only needs half of their thyroid to have normal energy/metabolism rates, or maybe cancer can't quite tell = close me up and send it for further testing.

What result do you think I had?  If you guessed option number 3, you're a winner!

I was in the "maybe cancer" group, so I went back to my room and stayed hopped up on pain meds for 12-18 hours while my lump was tested.  I found out on Wednesday morning that it was indeed cancer and I'd be having another surgery to remove the rest of my thyroid.  

I was released from the hospital on Thanksgiving day.  What I'm thankful for:  Trent, who took time off of work at a new job just to sleep on a hospital room floor and otherwise take care of me; mom, who took off an absurd amount of time to be with me during the surgeries and recovery; my sister, who was there for my surgeries and the earlier stages of recovery; and my step-dad, who drove 7 hours to help take care of me (and mom :)).  

And that's enough sap.  

If I could give you any advice, it is do not let them release you from the hospital on a holiday an hour before you're due for your next pain pill.  They won't give you one for the road and the pharmacies are not open.  My experience was extra special because the hospital failed to put some sticker on my release paperwork, so when we finally found a pharmacy that was open I learned that they couldn't fill my prescription because my paperwork was inadequate.  Back to the hospital I went.  They still wouldn't give me a pain pill for the road (sadly).  At that point, I went home and someone else went to get my drugs.  

This is me post surgeries:  

Why yes that is a drainage tube going out of the incision in the middle of my neck

It turns out that while the pathologists knew that I had cancer, they couldn't identify it so they had to send my thyroid tissue on to the Mayo Clinic.  The pathologist there thanked my doctor for sending him "such an interesting case."  Yay?

What we learned from Mayo is that of the four types of thyroid cancer, I had the least severe in my left thyroid gland and the second to least severe in my right thyroid gland.  But my tumor was the size of a golf ball.  It's all very treatable and rarely spreads and is almost never deadly.  Some people go their whole lives with thyroid cancer and just never know it. 

Despite all of this, if you see my mom please don't tell her, "Well if you're going to get cancer, this is the type to get!"  It's true.  She still doesn't want to hear it, thanks.  

In January I had radiation therapy, which involves taking a very high dose of radioactive iodine.  I'll write about that some other day.  Most important point:  I was literally radioactive for a while and wasn't allowed to come within three feet of other people.  So that was fun.  

In July I had a follow-up body scan and now I'm cancer free. Yay go me!  I take a daily medication to replace the hormones your thyroid is supposed to make and I have a lovely scar in the middle of my neck.  My plan is that when people ask about the scar, I'll tell them that someone once tried to slit my throat.  Sadly, my surgeon was too good (or people just aren't rude enough these days) and no one ever asks.  

Awkwardness & Chivalry

Today I had a hearing at the courthouse on a rather large case.  It was a hearing on a motion to dismiss.  The case is actually three different cases revolving around a single incident and essentially the same parties.  There were six attorneys present for the hearing.  My client didn't really have a dog in this fight, which I why I was at the courthouse instead of the partner on the case.

 

So there are six attorneys.  I'm the youngest/least experienced by approximately 20 years.  I'm also the only female.  This doesn't bother me (except for when they tell mildly inappropriate stories and then feel the need to apologize for hurting my womanly sensibilities...but whatever). 

 

There is one problem...

 

You see, while chivalry in general might be dead (this is what I hear, at least), it is alive and kicking in Kansas.

 

No matter where we were going, the other attorneys always made sure to hold the door open for me and then everyone follows me.  This means that I got on the elevator first and then also needed to get off first (awkward, but doable).  it means that I went into the judges chambers first.  I went into the courtroom first.  I left the courtroom first as we left to sit down and workout some deadlines.  I'm always first.  Again, I don't mind the whole door holding thing...

 

What I mind is this--generally speaking, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!  I'm still learning the ropes around the courthouse and I'm trying to watch the other attorneys to figure out where to go, etc.  It is hard to follow their lead when I'M ALWAYS FIRST.  This lead to a lot of awkward moments where I walked into or out of a room and then just stood off to the side until someone else came out who I could follow...

 

Awkward.

My First Deposition

Last week I had the pleasure of taking the deposition of a 16-year-old boy.  It was a kind of "training"for one of our newer associates, Paige.  Paige started at the Firm in August of last year.  She is on one of our litigation teams and does the same type of work as me.  She has had the pleasure of watching one of partners depose numerous plaintiffs and other witnesses...but the partner  has a rather serious and dry personality and Paige is a bubbly, happy young woman.  Apparently the powers that be felt that Paige was unlikely to adopt the partner's style, and sent her with me to see something different.

And different it was.  Different as in...not a lot of questions got answered and the deposition was wildly unhelpful.  I've never heard someone say, "I don't remember," "I don't recall," or "I wasn't paying attention" so many times in a single hour.  Anyway, I'm not sure Paige learned anything except that sometimes witnesses are over-prepared by their attorneys and it's annoying.

During our drive home from the worst deposition ever, Paige mentioned the first deposition I ever took...which happened to coincide with her final day at the Firm as a summer associate.  

I've wanted to blog about my first deposition ever since I took it, but I'm a procrastinator by nature...so I haven't yet.  Whoops!  I guess now is as good a time as any, right?

So...my first deposition...

The first person I ever deposed on my own was the plaintiff in a car accident case.  He was, like most of the people I have deposed, a single man in his mid-thirties.  He was also a felon represented by the epitome of a sleazy plaintiffs' attorney--flashy car and clothes, unbuttoned shirt showing off tufts of grey chest hair, big gold chains around his neck and diamond rings on his fingers...and clearly visible plastic surgery scars.

So...prior to the accident the plaintiff worked breaking horses.  I was questioning him about his experience breaking horses and trying to get him to tell me what "breaking" a horse entails, and I mentioned that I have very little experience with horses (hoping that he would explain everything in a simple and complete way)...to which he responded that I should come out and go riding with him sometime...so that was awkward. 

I politely declined his invitation, and moved on with the deposition.  Eventually we got to the injury he sustained in the accident.  He claimed to have pain in one of his hands and poor circulation as a result of the accident.  While discussing his hands he stated, "Yes ma'am, because these are young strong hands (indicating)."  At this point he held his hands out to me and offered to let me hold his hands to see how cold the injured one was as compared with the normal (big & strong?) one...I again declined.

Finally, we got to the fun part of the deposition--the part where the deponent has to tell me all about his/her criminal history.  In this case, I knew coming in that his criminal history was long (thank you, background check!).  He couldn't actually remember all of his past and pending charges...but he could remember that he had been previously convicted for aggravated intimidation of a state witness.  This is actually my favorite part of the deposition, so I'm just going to lay it out for you:

Q (this is "Question"):  And what were you convicted of?
A (and this is "Answer):  Aggravated intimidation of a state witness.
Q:  Can you tell me a little bit about that case?
A:  Do I have to?
Q:  Yes, you do.  What did you do to intimidate him?
A:  I tried to kill him.
Q:  How?
A:  I beat him very severely.
Q:  What was he a witness to?
A:  Because I beat another guy and he had cases already on me.
Q:  So you were charged with beating somebody else and [Witness] was a witness to that beating?
A:  No.  I beat him, too.  I beat two guys in one, and I told him if he testified, it was going to be on.
Q:  Did he testify?
A:  He tried, but I went after him again.  I got a lot of felonies, lady.

For this, he went to prison for 3.5 years.  (Side note:  Still testifying about his criminal convictions, he states, "Don't quote me on that."  Um...yeah...you are under oath and there is a court reporter writing down everything you say...so...)

So, we continued to talk about past convictions and then we talked a little about currently pending charges.  At the time of his deposition he had 24 counts of aggravated fleeing and eluding...we went off the record so he could tell me all about taking the county police on a high speed chase.

Anyway, we go off the record and I'm getting ready to leave and he asked if I had dinner plans...sorry, can't...

So then he tells me that when the case is over, I should come out to his place and he will teach me to ride horses.  Oh please can I?  Really, I'd just love to come out to the middle of no where and ride horses alone with a convicted felon... [obvious sarcasm].

So that was my very first solo deposition.  It was interesting...obviously.

In case you are wondering, the case settled after my facebook stalking of the plaintiff got us a picture of him fishing after the accident, holding up a big string of fish shirtless...showing off his giant swastika tattoo that took up the entire left side of his chest...and was totally admissible.  Moral of the story:  make sure your facebook setting are properly locked...

Life...Keeping me Humble

It's review time here at the Firm.  That means that sometime soon, all something like 70 partners are going to get together in a big conference room and talk about all of the associates, one by one.  For me, this is my first full partnership review...up until now, I've only been reviewed by a smaller group of partners (the Associates Committee).  So...as you can imagine, the idea of 70ish of my bosses sitting around and talking about me behind closed doors is a little...scary.

 

This week the partners are working on (or should be working on) our written reviews.  All of the partners who I have done work for in the past six months have the opportunity to evaluate everything about me, from my researching and writing skills to my personality to my willingness to participate in firm functions.  And if I haven't done work for someone, well they can always opt to review me just for the fun of it. 

 

Anyway, given it is review time, I was extremely happy with a phone call I received today.  You see, a couple of weeks ago I filed something for a partner with the Clerk of the Appellate Court.  Today he called me and said, "So...I just realized...when you filed that Response, did you make sure to bind it correctly and use the right color of cover page?  I just realized that this was probably the first time you've filed something like that."  And I responded with, "It was, but I looked it up and yes, I filed it correctly." 

 

And then he said something that as an associate you just love to hear:  "Excellent, this is why I like working with you." 

 

I almost said, "Great!  You should probably write my review RIGHT NOW!"  But I didn't.

 

I did, however, proceed to tell some friends that I was feeling good about myself.  You know, always better to go into a review with the partner you do the most work for feeling good about your competence...

 

And then I looked at a motion I filed for him yesterday...and realized that I'M AN IDIOT who COMPLETELY FORGOT to include our exhibits.  Seriously...

 

So, just an hour or so after the partner tells me I've done something well, I walk into his office and explain why I'm an idiot (and then I fixed it, obviously). 

 

Sometimes there is a wonderful balance to the practice of law (at least my practice)...

 

So...today is a wash...

 

 

 

 

Pumpkin Cupcakes with Salted Caramel Buttercream & Fantasy Football

 

 

Have you ever noticed how often I start a post on this thing with an apology for not posting in an excessive amount of time?  I have.  It's annoying.  Anyway, sorry for not posting in a month!  I think that is the last apology you will get out of me because if you are reading this blog...well...you should be used to it by now, am I right?!  (Also, you are most likely a family member or friend who expects me to be late/untimely...so why should posts on my blog be any different?!).

 

Anyway, I'm playing fantasy football this year.  And my team (Lindsey and I) is totally kicking some major A$$! 

 

I don't know anything about football.  I know I like the Hawkeyes, I know some of the positions and some basic information like scoring and whatnot from my days of being a cheerleader...but I don't know ANYTHING about the NFL, and I'm being completely honest when I say I've never cared to learn.

 

This year, however, the guy who organizes the fantasy football league at work asked me if I wanted to get an all girl team together and participate.  I'm a lover of infiltrating all things generally male dominated, so I asked a couple of girls here if they wanted to participate, Lindsey (who actually does watch football) said yes, and Team Candy was born! 

 

Yes, our name is Team Candy.  One of our newest associates, Paige, named us.  I believe it is technically Team Eye-Candy, but we like to keep things appropriate (although I don't know why considering one of the teams is the Champion Whoremongers...).

 

Anyway, Lindsey, Paige, and I went to the chaotic, loud, booze-filled draft and picked ourselves a wonderful team!  While I've never been in to the NFL, I am very competitive.  Now that I'm invested in this team, I'm learning everything I can about my players and the NFL.  Actually, it has become so bad that Ian recently asked me to stop spouting off about the NFL and told me that if he broke up with because of my new found interest in football, people would totally understand...(he was joking, I think...).

 

So far we have won both of our games, which means we are ranked number one! I know, there is still plenty of time for our team to go down in a flaming ball of crap...but for now we rock! 

 

Because we are competitive, awesome, and women, we went to the mall and ordered the most girly team t-shirts we could find:

 

 

And Lindsey has been arranging/hosting team watch parties at her house:

 

Matt shown for scale...

Lindsey's basement has an awesome setup for football watch parties, which includes this lovely projection T.V. and the NFL red zone package, which makes sure you are watching whatever game currently has a ball in the red zone.

 

My contribution to the first watch party was cupcakes, of course!  Lindsey is always trying to coerce me into make certain kinds of cupcakes for her.  She recently sent me a recipe for Pumpkin Cupcakes with Salted Caramel Buttercream frosting and all she said was how delicious they looked and how excited she was for fall.  But I knew.  I KNEW she wanted me to make these cupcakes...

 

And I did.  I mean, making cupcakes is kind of a team effort...I like to make them, she likes to eat them...so I might as well make a flavor she wants to try, no? 

 

Seriously though, I imagine it must take a lot of effort to host even a small gathering at your home (I wouldn't know, I don't let people enter my home due to the fact that it is in constant disarray and every place I have to sit only seats two...), so the least I can do is make cupcake flavors she suggests. 

 

As I alluded to at the beginning of this long stream of consciousness post, I have a tendency to run behind.  I woke up on the Sunday of our watch party, went to the grocery store and purchased the ingredients for cupcake making, made the cupcakes (and a dip, yummy!), and then showed up one hour late to the party...but when you show up with cupcakes, I like to think that people don't care about your lateness.  I might be wrong. 

 

These cupcakes are deliciously fall flavored.  I thought they were good, they were a hit at the party (meaning Lindsey and I ate a lot of them), and when I took them to work I received numerous compliments on them (as well as numerous complaints about the general lack of cupcakes in the recent past...). 

 

I changed the recipe to use store bought caramel (what?!  I was already late!) and instead of one stick of salted butter and one of unsalted butter in the buttercream...I just used unsalted butter and added more salt...I'm too lazy to purchase two different kinds of salt for one freaking recipe!

 

Oh, and just an FYI - if you double the cupcake recipe, you should also double the frosting...

 

Quit judging the pictures in this post...I forgot my camera at work when I baked the cupcakes, so these were taken on my messy desk.  You can actually see highlighters reflected on the side...

 

Pumpkin Cupcakes - (original recipe says you get 18 cupcakes from this...I got closer to 24)

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon coarse salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1 cup packed light-brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
4 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 can (15 ounces) pumpkin puree

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.Line cupcake pans with paper liners; set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and allspice; set aside.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the brown sugar, granulated sugar, butter, and eggs. Beat on medium speed until well combined. Add dry ingredients, and mix on low until smooth. Fold in pumpkin puree.
3. Divide batter evenly among liners, filling each about halfway. Bake until tops spring back when touched, and a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes, rotating pans once if needed. Transfer to a wire rack; let cool completely.

Salted Caramel Buttercream -
2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 teaspoon sea salt, more to taste and to garnish
1/2 cup caramel sauce, more to taste and to garnish
2 cups powdered sugar

1. In a mixer fitted with paddle attachment, beat butter and salt together until lightened and fluffy.
2. Reduce speed to low and add powdered sugar. Mix until thoroughly combined.
3. Scrape down the side of the bowl and add the caramel. Beat on medium high speed until light and airy, and completely mixed (about 2 minutes). 
4. Frost cupcakes and garnish with more caramel and a SMALL sprinkle of salt.

Apparently I'm a Farm Lawyer...

Currently, I have three cases in my overall case load that are keeping me crazy-pants style busy:

1. A case involving a dispute over damage to a rented tractor;
2. A case involving a contract for the sale of hay; and,
3. A case involving the sale of soil amendments, which are used to increase the root growth and density to improve crop production.

Add to this the fact that I have appeared in front of the Kansas Farm Service Agency state board a couple of times to talk crop insurance, and it appears that I'm becoming a regular farm lawyer...

I wish I had known this was where my life would lead when I was growing up on a farm.  Maybe I would have paid more attention...

In other news, today one of the male associates told me I look tired, which I'm certain actually means, "You look like poop."  (He is Mormon, so I don't think he swears...).

I told my friend and coworker Lindsey about this exchange and her response was, "I'm sorry you look like shit."  THANKS LINDSEY! 

Edit: Lindsey would like you all to know that she immediately followed up her statement with, "But I'm sure [he's] wrong."

I'm not so sure, though.  Not too long after this exchange, a paralegal came in and told me I look like I don't feel well...

 

Thanks for reading my non-post...I promise a better one some day in the future!

Blueberry Pie

The most important thing you need to know about pie-baking is that you shouldn't just up and decide that you would like to make a pie from scratch and also be able to eat it in like 4 hours.  Pie baking doesn't work like that.  Apparently. 

About a month ago, I decided that it would be a really awesome idea to purchase a gallon bag of fresh from the farm organic blueberries:

Ian says I am obsessed with Instagram...he is possibly correct.

I made this decision because (a) blueberries are delicious and (b) I wanted to bake with them.  Much to Ian's consternation, I baked gluten-full and gluten-free blueberry muffins as soon as I had these blueberries in my possession (I haven't written about these baked goods yet for multiple reasons...but let's just agree to blame laziness). 

Ian, who is back in Iowa these days, was a little peeved...he may have been the one who put the blueberry muffin idea in my head in the first place...and I may have rubbed in how delicious the muffins were every chance I got.  Not on purpose, really, just because I happened to be eating a lot of delicious muffins around the times I happened to be on the phone with Ian. 

Anyway, I baked a lot, ate a lot of the blueberries, and then put the rest in the freezer to use for baking purposes at a later time.

So, Ian came to visit me this past weekend and we semi-invited ourselves to our friends' house for dinner and hanging out on Saturday.  While we were lazily hanging out during the day, the idea of how delicious a blueberry pie would taste just came to me...and Ian got a little sad look on his face and said something about how it did sound delicious but that it didn't matter because I was just going to bake it when he was in Iowa anyway. 

At about 2:00, I decided that I wanted to bake the pie right then and there.  We were supposed to be over for dinner at 6:30 and the drive would take about 20 minutes...I figured we had time to "whip up" a pie. 

I'm not going to walk you through the specifics of baking this pie or even give you the recipe, because it is a complicated process that you have to do 100% correct to end up with delicious flaky crust...and with this being my first pie and all...I think you are better off relying on the real instructions.  Crust (doubled) and filling.

I will, however, tell you what I learned.

So, first things first, apparently in order to have good crust you absolutely NEED everything to be as cold as humanly possible. The directions I followed suggested keeping butter in the freezer at all times just in case the urge to bake a pie strikes. Clearly, as this is the first pie I've ever attempted to make outside of high school home ec class, I did not have butter in my freezer. So I quickly threw some butter in the freezer and waited minimum amount of time before I began preparing my dough.

Apparently this "keep everything cold" rule follows through all of the pie making process.  You need your dough cold when you roll it out if you do want a flaky crust and don't want it to stick to the counter.  I pulled my dough out of the fridge, rolled it out all carefully so it was a circle, trying hard to make sure it would fit my pie plate...and then asked Ian to check it.  He came in and was like, "Oh...this is totally stuck to the counter.  You are going to have to try again."  FML.  So, keep it cold and work fast!

Pie making isn't for the impatient (which I am).  Because of the whole "keep everything cold" crap, there is just a lot of time hanging out while you are waiting for stuff to get cold.

The entire pie making experience turned in to a team exercise at the end.  I prepared the dough and the filling; Ian assembled the beautiful pie!  I'm very impressed with his pie assembly skills!  We've been showing off the picture of the pie like it is a child.  Seriously.

Anyway, the most important lesson I learned in regards to baking a pie is that when the directions tell you that you need to let the pie cool completely before cutting it, you actually do need to let the pie cool completely.  We took our assembled pie over to our friends' house and baked it there while we were preparing and eating dinner.  It came out of the oven right when we sat down to eat.  It cooled for maybe two hours, and we thought it was fine to eat. 

It wasn't.

Don't get me wrong, it tasted awesome and it was cool enough to eat.  But it was like pie soup.  Delicious, blueberry, pie soup.

We ate half of the pie that night and took the rest home.  When we woke up and ate pie for breakfast (stop judging me), the remaining pieces had filling that had miraculously firmed up!  There is a purpose for the waiting, people!

But if you can't wait, warm but soupy pie is still delicious...so you should feel free to dig in!

The only thing I regret is that there is only one slice left:

(I'm eating it tonight!)



40th Surprise Party

So...remember that post I had almost a month ago where I talked about Red Velvet cupcakes and told you to check back later in the week for a post about my first order...well...this is that post you've been waiting for.  I know.  I suck.  You love me anyway.

Anyway, my first ever order was for 1 dozen Pina Colada Cupcakes, 1 dozen S'mores Cupcakes, and 2 dozen red velvet cupcakes.  This also happened to be the very first time baking in my new kitchen.  Oh, and it was the first week of the summer associate program where my law firm has activities that involve drinking booze literally every night of the week.  It was an interesting baking experience...or, and interesting experience in time management, to say the least.

First, I love my new kitchen:

I especially like the lovely island in the middle.  The one problem is that once you pull out your ingredients and your "cookbook" (aka, my iPad)...and my computer for watching TV, there really isn't a whole lot of room on the counter.  So, it took some work to figure out where my cooling racks would work best, where my ingredients should sit waiting patiently for me to use them, etc.  I did figure it out, though.

Baking for actual events makes me nervous...but happy.  It definitely makes me feel good that someone liked my baking so much they wanted to order it!  But...it makes me nervous because WHAT IF I MESS UP?! 

To accommodate all of the drinking and working I had to do that week, I baked the order over the course of a couple of days (which my customer knew was likely to happen since she ordered some complex cupcakes).  It actually went a lot more smoothly than I anticipated.  I didn't mess up the recipes at all...I had an order for baking...the S'mores turned out even better than the usually do...I made colorful Pina Colada Cupcakes (it was a 40th birthday party for a man...so I figured all pink was a no no):

I even got to use my new mini fridge for its intended purpose for the very first time:

Please see the beautiful cupcakes...and ignore the beer).

I was a little nervous that the Red Velvet Cupcakes were messed up.  You see, usually before I let anyone else eat a cupcake, I taste-test the batch first.  But, the customer ordered 2 dozen Red Velvet Cupcakes, and the recipe makes exactly that...so there weren't any extras to taste.  I was petrified that I had left out an important ingredient (like...idk...sugar!) and just didn't know it.  If they were messed up, you know, no big deal...just the birthday boy's FAVORITE FREAKING CAKE.  So yeah, that part made me nervous (they weren't messed up, in case you were concerned).

The most nerve-racking portion of the whole experience, however, was the transportation.  All I needed to do was get 5 dozen cupcakes to the customer without messing any up, and I would be good to go...but I was so nervous I was going to drop them!  I mean, I had to get them from my basement, to my car, to the fridge at work, back to my car, and then to the drop-off location.  It was a lot of travel...

I managed...but then that night I got a text message from my friend that said, "My worst nightmare just happened.  The bottom of one of the tupperwares just fell out!!!!!  Thank God the cupcakes were salvageable.  F*ck my life."  And my heart dropped...

Luckily, no cupcakes were harmed in the drop...

Anyway, the experience was good, the customer passed out some of my business cards, and maybe someone else will order in the future!  Until then, I'll just keep baking for the fun of it! 

(P.S. - the customer was going to take a picture of the cupcakes sitting out, but was too busy having fun...so no finished product pics for you this time!  Sorry folks!).

Red Velvet Cupcakes - Two Ways

About a month ago I was contacted by the sister of a friend who asked if I would be willing to bake cupcakes for a surprise 40th birthday party she was throwing for her boyfriend!  You want to order cupcakes from me?!  OF COURSE I'M INTERESTED!

Now that that's out of my system...

I (semi) promptly emailed her back, and we got to work ironing out the details.  The most important detail is that the birthday boy's favorite cake is red velvet cake.

I immediately thought of a problem...I don't recall ever having red velvet cake.  So, either I've never had it, or it wasn't worth remembering.

Personal Baked Oatmeal "Bars"

I'm  not much of a morning person.  At all.  For some reason, I am perfectly capable of waking up at 5:30 am for a gym class (most of the time) and when I do I manage to make myself something good for breakfast (and by "I usually make myself," I mean "Ian cooks" - at least for now).  But on days that I don't go to the gym, I CANNOT get my lazy butt up out of my bed.  Which also means I don't eat breakfast.  If I don't eat breakfast I AM STARVING by 9:30 am, which is obviously too early for lunch.  Or I eat something gross out of a vending machine.

And this is where I have to thank Pinterest and the amazing people who post amazing ideas on it!  PINTEREST SOLVED MY LAZY BUTT BREAKFAST PROBLEMS!

Ultimate Chocolate Cupcakes with Strawberry Swiss Meringue Butter Cream Frosting

This spring, Ian has an amazing internship working at a prestigious accounting firm...and it has the potential to lead to a full time job when he graduates.  It's a tax internship during the busy tax time, and so far he is loving it.  He is loving it so much, in fact, that he decided he wants to bribe them into giving him a job...or into liking him...which he hopes will lead to a job.

Bacon Whole Wheat Pancakes

(I decided that since the post is short, the picture has to be big!)

As usual, it has been FOREVER since I have posted anything.  Such is life, no?!  Anyway, just a short little post today...Ian and I decided to make some delicious pancakes for breakfast-lunch yesterday (no, this was not brunch.  It was at 1:30 in the afternoon...we just decided to have breakfast for lunch).

Ian baked some bacon in the oven, and then I whipped up these whole wheat pancakes...put the cooked bacon on the skillet and then dump your batter right on top of the bacon!  Delicious!  My sister pointed out that bacon in a whole wheat pancake "defeats the purpose of the whole wheat pancake."  My thoughts = bacon never defeats the purpose of anything...bacon goes with everything!  Also, the whole wheat pancakes (while nutritious) are also delicious! 

We also made some dunk eggs (I believe people outside of my family call these over easy) to throw on top of the pancakes!  All in all, this was a delicious breakfast lunch.  The pancakes were light and fluffy and had a really good flavor.  Next time, however, I will be crumbling the bacon and mixing it into the batter so I can have a bite of bacon with most bites of pancake!  Sounds good, right?!

(Please forgive my terrible photo)

Whole Wheat Pancakes -



2 cups whole wheat flour

4 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp cinnamon (we added a little extra)

2 tsp sugar (we added a little extra)

pinch nutmeg

2 large eggs

2 cups + 2 tbsp milk

2 tsp vanilla bean paste

1. Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl.
2. Add in all wet ingredients and mix well with a spoon until there are no more dry spots.  Don't over mix.
3. Heat a skillet on medium heat.
4. Lightly spay cooking spray on skillet (we used butter).
5. Place bacon on skillet and cover with 1/4 cup of pancake batter.
6. When bubbles settle and the edges begin to set, flip the pancake and cook the other side to golden brown. 
7. EAT!

Picture Coasters (not edible...duh)

Have you heard of the latest social media craze?  Well, the latest craze for mostly women who enjoy cooking/baking/crafting??  It is called pinterest, and if you enjoy any of the previously mentioned things, you should probably be on it.  Essentially, pinterest can teach you how to do things you never knew you wanted to be able to do.

I learned about pinterest shortly before Christmas and it helped me remember that I enjoy making things.  One of the very first things I found was a tutorial on how to make picture coasters.  In fact, I decided that coasters with Ian and my disastrous photo shoot would be perfect for Ian's apartment, and therefore a perfect Christmas gift for him!  I was also fairly confident that they were going to be AWESOME and that everyone would want some...so I decided to make some for my mom (and by some, I mean she got like 16 because who doesn't need 16 coaster?!  Really, her family is just too big...) and for friends (although I still owe some friends some coasters...two months after Christmas isn't too late to give a present, right?!). 

S'more Cupcakes

Have you ever had a craving for something and it just follows you around, demanding to be satisfied?  Well, for MONTHS, all I could think about was how much I wanted a s'more.  I blame Ian.  Now, he will probably tell you that I blame him for everything, but this really was his fault.  Ian insisted that we go camping (and that experience, my friends, is a whole other story, which I promise to blog about at a later time).  Anyway, on this lovely camping trip we planned to make s'mores and brought all the fixin's.  And we did make them.  Once.  But is once really ever enough for s'mores?  I would argue that it is most assuredly not.

So I went on a quest to find a recipe for s'mores cupcakes.  As you would expect, I found a plethora of cupcake options out on the interwebs.  I combined the cupcake recipe from Bakerella, the marshmallow frosting from the Annie's Eats, and my own chocolate ganache.  Let me tell you, this things are DANGEROUS.

Thanksgiving Cupcakes!

I haven't been doing much baking lately...busy with work...holidays...birthdays...I'm lazy...

I did, however, do some baking for Thanksgiving.  It was to be the very first time anyone in my family would taste my baking!  I was a little nervous.  Ok, I was a lot nervous.  Have I mentioned that there are some fantastic bakers in my family?  So...I decided that it was better to be safe than sorry...I decided to bake a cupcake I had already baked before.  Kinda.

I opted to make the ultimate vanilla cupcakes and then frost half with pumpkin crème brûlée and the other half with a Caramel Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting.

I didn't have time to bake before making the trip home.  So, here was the plan - I had to leave Kansas on Tuesday after work and then drive to Iowa, leaving me Wednesday to bake my cupcakes and also spend time with my family.  I did, however, find the time to pre-make my caramel.  Here is a picture of my caramel...doesn't it look lovely?

I Brought a Torch to Work!

A few weeks back, I got an email from a local restaurant advertising a wine and tapas pairing dinner.  I get about two or three of these emails a week and I'm always tempted to go...but I never really want to spend $75 for dinner.  This one, however, sounded really good and I thought it might be fun if I could convince a couple of my friends to go with me.  I sent out an email gauging interest, and got a response back from a friend almost immediately suggesting that instead of going to a pairing, she host one at her house! 

So, we decided to have a big girls' night where everyone was responsible for bringing one dish paired with one alcoholic beverage.  I obviously offered to be in charge of the dessert.  I decided to make crème brûlée cupcakes (found at the Cupcake Project, obviously!).  These cupcakes are vanilla cupcakes with a pumpkin crème brûlée.  I've never made crème brûlée before, so that was challenge number 1.

So...here's what you need to know about this crème brûlée recipe - you need 6 ramikins, or you need to plan on baking your crème brûlée for much, much longer than 40 minutes! 

Strawberry Cupcakes with Strawberry Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting

This week, something very exciting happened for me...I was approached at work by a couple of coworkers who basically wanted to order cupcakes from me.  The thought of this happening had never really occurred to me...I mean, I am learning to bake, I'm not a baker...so the fact that someone wanted to buy my cupcakes and serve them at an event was very exciting for me!  It also caught me off guard (I mean, how do you know what to charge people for things like this?).

These cupcakes were made for a baby shower.  The baby is a girl, and the mom is apparently obsessed with the Beatles.  So, the people hosting the baby shower decided that in light of the Beatles' song "Strawberry Fields Forever," strawberry cupcakes with a pink frosting would be perfect. 

The baby shower is tomorrow (Sunday), but I told my coworkers that I would try to bring the cupcakes to work for them on Friday so they didn't have to make a special trip to the office to pick them up.  Unfortunately, I hit a little baking snag.

You see, I find my recipes online, but then I print them off and work from the printout at home.  I also am not one of those good people who measures out all of their ingredients before starting to mix everything together (please don't tell my high school home-ec teacher!).  Instead, I read the step by step instructions and measure things out as they are called for.  This lead to a major cupcake default on Thursday night.

You see, the website and the printer had a disagreement, I think, and part of the directions didn't actually print off...but they looked whole, so I didn't notice.  I did my thing, mixing my ingredients and filling my baking cups and baking my cupcakes.  Then, when I pulled the first 24 cupcakes out of the oven, I noticed it...an unopened bag of sugar on the counter.  At this point I thought to myself, "Um...did I add sugar to these cupcakes?  I don't think so....I wonder how important sugar is..."

It turns out, SUGAR IS VERY IMPORTANT. 

The cupcakes LOOKED like cupcakes.  The cupcakes TASTED like biscuits with strawberry bits.  The cupcakes ended in my trash can covered with leftover batter and I went to bed knowing I would need to try again another day.

On Friday, I went back to the store, got replacement ingredients, and obsessed over the fact that I WOULD NOT forget to add the sugar this time!  And I didn't! 

These cupcakes came from Amelia's favorite baking blog, Annie's Eats.  The process of baking these cupcakes had its highs and lows...

Highs -

1. Working with new ingredients (like cake flour)
2. The cupcakes are delicious
3. learning how to separate an egg! 
4. The frosting is fantastic!
5. I LEARNED HOW TO DO A CUPCAKE SWIRL! (I watched a tutorial video...)
6. I made strawberry puree (which I had seriously never considered was JUST STRAWBERRIES...that you puree...)

Lows -

1. My food chopper (used to chop strawberries) decided it didn't want to come apart to be washed and that lead to me banging it on the counter.
2. Cake flour is hard to sift...so I had to hit the sifter with my meat mallet to get the flour through and that took a really long time.
3. Because I was making these cupcakes for other people for a special occassion, I couldnt just say, "well, that was a flop!  Guess I will just try again next week!"  Instead, I had to try again the next day!
4. I may have filled my cupcake liners too full, causing the cupcakes to be a little malformed.

I think my favorite part of these cupcakes is the frosting.  The frosting is a Strawberry Swiss Meringue Buttercream...and it is so rich and creamy and delicious!  It was also one of the more difficult frostings I have made, so after the cupcake flop, I was nervous...

This frosting involves heating egg whites and sugar over simmering water until the mixture reaches a certain temperature and the sugar dissolves...

I don't have a thermometer, so I had to just eyeball it! 

Then there is A LOT of mixing (thank God for the KitchenAid).

The directions I followed were very helpful.  She was very optimistic and warned of problems that may happen in the frosting making process (like the frosting gets runny (which happened) or the frosting curdles (also happened))...and how all you have to do is KEEP MIXING and it will turn out just fine.  And she was right! 

So, my suggestion is that if you want a really rich, creamy, and delicious frosting and you have some extra time, you should try a Swiss meringue buttercream frosting (apparently there are many different flavors you can make!)!  Definitely worth it!  I have a lot of extras and love it so much that I am trying to convince someone else to bake a cake and frost it with my leftovers just so it wont go to waste!

I think these cupcakes are DELICIOUS!  They are light and fluffy and very moist with a good strawberry flavor.  I have no idea what the babyshower people will say...but I will update if I get any comments! 

Strawberry Cupcakes

2 1/2 cups cake flour (I didn't know cake flour existed until this recipe...)

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 eggs

1/3 cup buttermilk

1/4 cup oil

1 teaspoon vanilla (I still can't get my vanilla opened, so I used vanilla bean paste)

2 cups chopped strawberries

1. Preheat oven to 350 and line cupcake pans with liners.
2. Sift flour, salt, and baking soda into a medium bowl (may require a meat mallet to beat the sifter...).  Set aside.
3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream butter AND SUGAR until light and fluffy (remember, sugar is important!).
4. Add eggs one at a time until combined. 
5. Add buttermilk, oil, and vanilla and beat until combined.
6. Add flour mixture and stir until just combined.
7. Fold in chopped strawberries.
8. Fill cupcake liners 3/4 full with batter.
9. Bake for 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. 
10. Cool completely on wire rack.

Strawberry Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting

1 1/2 cups fresh strawberries (8 oz), rinsed, hulled, and coarsely chopped

4 large egg whites

1 1/4 cups sugar

3 sticks (1 1/2 cups) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1. Place strawberries in food processor or blender and puree until completely smooth.
2. Combine egg whites and sugar in a heatproof bowl set over a pot of simmering water.  Heat, whisking frequently, until the mixture reaches 160 degrees ferinheit and the sugar has dissolved.
3. Transfer the mixture to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment.  Beat on medium-high speed until stiff peaks form and the mixture has cooled to room temperature, about 8 minutes (the bowl should be cool to the touch).
4. Reduce speed to medium and add butter, 2 tablespoons at a time, adding more once each addition has been incorporated.  If the frosting looks soupy or curdled, continue to beat on medium-high speed until thick and smooth again, about 3-5 minutes more (or longer).
5. Blend in the strawberry puree until smooth and completely incorporated, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.
6. Put in pastry bad with desired tip for decorating.

If you run into issues with this frosting and you need a pep talk re: it will all work out, go here...it helps! 

Banana Chocolate Cupcakes with Honey Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting

In keeping with the previous cupcake, this cupcake is the result of a special request from a coworker.  You may have noticed that I have been much better as of late in keeping with the "boozy" theme of this blog.  Personally, I have rather enjoyed the booze addition to my baked goods.  However, we have a few people at the Firm who, for various reasons, do not drink.  One of these people is Brad.

Brad is a toddler associate...meaning he is in his third year here at the Firm (in a comment to a previous post, I was asked if the designation of "baby lawyer" was something that the partners actually call us around here.  The answer to that is no, it is just my way of describing what I feel I am)!  He is on my team and offices just two doors down from me.  Brad doesn't drink.  He does, however, enjoy baked goods.  On the day of the delightful Pumpkin Spice Latte Cupcakes at work, Brad came into my office to tell me they looked delicious...and then to request that I make a cupcake or two sans the booze so he can also participate in eating them.

Because Brad was the person who requested the non-booze cupcakes (and because I didn't have any non-booze cupcakes on my baking list), I let him decide what flavor of cupcakes he was looking for, and he settled on banana.  After a scavenger hunt through various baking blogs, and multiple emails, he decided on Chocolate Banana Cupcakes from The Cupcake Project. 

He wasn't picky about the frosting, and said he trusted my judgment on that one.  The recipe called for a Macadamia Nut Butter Frosting, which I wasn't really in the mood for.  I decided I would rather honey cinnamon cream cheese frosting...which I found various recipes for all over the Internet, and used the one at the bottom of the page, but cannot for the life of me remember where it came from. 

Anyway, baking this cupcake was...well...interesting.  The week before I baked these cupcakes, I had some bananas in my fruit bowl that were ripe, and friends told me to freeze them to save them for baking.  I've never frozen a banana before and then defrosted them to bake with.  Let me tell you...it was DISGUSTING!  The banana was all limp and floppy and brown...there were juices...definitely not my favorite part of the baking process.  But, it worked.

The batter was also strange for this cupcake.  I made a double batch of the cupcakes, which amounted to 36 cupcakes.  I only have one cupcake pan (I used to have two, but apparently soaking a cupcake pan for two days leads to rust.  Who knew?!), so I had to bake my cupcakes in three different installments.  Scooping out the batter into the pan for the first 12 was no problem.  But, as those 12 cooked, I think the melted chocolate used in the batter started to harden back up, because the batter was definitely more clumpy the second time around.  The third time around it was dang near impossible to work with.  But, it worked and all the cupcakes turned out just fine!

My absolute favorite part of this cupcake was the frosting, and I think a lot of that has to do with the HONEY!  Ian and I recently went to his cousin's wedding.  His aunt and uncle have 6 beehives and recently harvested their honey for the year, and all of the wedding guests got a cute little container of fresh from the hive honey to take home with them! 

Cute, right?  The only downfall to using this fresh from the hive honey?  I used it all in my frosting...now I definitely need to get more because it was DELICIOUS! 

Overall, I wasn't overly thrilled with these cupcakes.  I thought the chocolate tasted weird, there wasn't enough banana flavor, and the cupcakes were dry.

EVERYONE ELSE seemed to like them.  No one agreed that they were dry, the cupcakes disappeared faster than any other batch (maybe because people finally know where they are coming from and have learned to trust that I'm not going to give them food poisoning?), and overall I had really great reviews.  I did have some agreement that there needed to be more banana, so if you choose to make these, add a banana for more flavor!

Absolute best part of this cupcake, though, was the frosting, hands down! 

Banana Chocolate Cupcakes - (makes 18...if you only make 18, do 1/2 the frosting!)

1 stick butter

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1/2 cups sour cream

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon vanilla (vanilla bean paste)

2 very ripe bananas, mashed

8 oz dark chocolate, melted.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line cupcake liners.
2. Cream butter and sugar.
3. Add eggs, sour cream, flour, and baking soda.
4. Add vanilla and mashed bananas.
5. Stir in melted chocolate.
6. Fill cupcake liners 3/4 full.
7. Bake for 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Honey Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting -

1 cup butter, room temperature

8 oz. cream cheese

2 teaspoons cinnamon

2 tablespoons honey

4-8 cups powdered sugar

1. Cream butter until light and fluffy.  Add the cream cheese and beat for another two minutes.
2. Mix in the honey and cinnamon.
3. Gradually add in the powdered sugar one cup at a time until you get your desired consistency.